Judicial Hanging

I actually had this crazy dream a few days ago.

In the dream, I was backpacking in Siem Reap, where I have never been to so far and I am going in this year end. I was staying in a warm guest house. And one day, I didn’t know what happen. I was just sentenced to death, with judicial hanging. That was interesting. Two men were holding my arms, one on the left and the other one on the right, dragging me to the gallows. I can clearly remember that I was not frightened at all. I didn’t not trying to escape. I was not struggling while they were holding me. I did not cry, or say a single word. I didn’t look sad. I wasn’t panic at all. I was pretty calm, just like I was going to the supermarket. However, I did have turned my head backwards and had a last glance of the world behind me when they took me on the way to the gallows. I did it for a couple of times. Later after I woke up, I remember I had this kind of dilemma feelings in my heart in the dream. It was like I was ready for the hanging, but I still had a little bit of feelings to the world. It is not like sentimentally attached to the crazy world or something like that. But I think it is kinda willing to do more things which I have never done before in the world……. Then later in the dream, I didn’t know what happen, again. The judicial hanging was cancelled. I absolutely remember they used the word “cancelled” in the dream. It was over. The last scene of the dream was that I carried my backpack, and moved on to my next destination……

What a funny dream. I realized that dream was probably due to one article I read some time ago. It was also an interesting article. It talked about all those penalty death in the world. It said hanging was a very effective and elegant execution method. It is traditional. But it is still widely used in a lot of countries. It is neither as violent as gun shoot, nor as expensive as lethal injection. Hanging is special that it is very effective and brings almost no pain to the criminals or some of those who commit suicide by hanging. Hanging causes hypoxia in the brain in a few seconds. As a result, the person can lose consciousness in less than 10 seconds. The personal feel no pain at all… No wonder Saddam did not show any anxiety in his last moment.

Got escaped out of town for a couple of days. I had no idea why I was there. I did not know what I was doing over there. I had a lot of beers. But most of them are non-alcoholic. It is Muslim. So there are many alcohol-free beers. I didn’t know it was so tough for me. The pictures were all replayed in my mind. The every moment, every little thing, every conversation, every messages, …, they all appeared in my mind. What my eyes saw was all Saigon, the same Saigon last year… I couldn’t get rid of it… what I did was hanging out in the gh day and night, grabbed some beers, drank, and drank… I couldn’t even have a change to see how she looks like when she has long hair…

I have this small app in my cell. It is kinda stupid but I just play it. It is called Message in a bottle. Every registered user can write messages, put it in a bottle, and throw the bottle into the sea, the hypothetical sea, which is the server machine. Every night before I go to sleep, I open up the app and throw a bottle into the “sea”. I write the same message in every bottle I threw. Every msg ends up with the same sentence “The only thing I want is for you to be happy, whether with me, or without me”…

I did some search on the internet about my crazy dream of hanging. There are plenty of stupid explanations. There is one explanation I like the most. It is said, when you dreamed of being hung, you are such kind of person who does NOT give a damn to every single thing in this world, superficially. But in your deep heart, you feel lonely… I like this one.

–the end.

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